Tuesday, February 28, 2006

It's fun being a boy


The good thing about having a Y chromosome is that you never have to grow up. This is displayed in a fascination with poo and actions involving poo.

I have always been intrigued by the disposable toilet seat covers that you see in public toilets. We don’t have them at work but apparently we should since a couple of times I have gone into a cubicle and found a neat little patchwork quilt of toilet paper covering the seat. Anyway, back to the covers. Last Thursday I decided to try one out at the airport, whilst waiting for my flight to LA. This particular toilet had one of those sensors that automatically flush the toilet when it thinks you are done. Whilst bending to take out one of the covers the toilet flushed. Whilst trying to work out which way around the thing was supposed to go on the toilet it flushed again, almost flushing the cover down the pan. It wasn’t very comfortable and I think I put it down the wrong way around (since the gap for my john thomas was at the back!). I always thought they were a bit silly and now I know that they are not. They are completely ridiculous.

Why would you want paper stuck to your behind whilst on a call of nature? It moved with me and I had to peel myself away from it when I stood up. Of course, the toilet flushed when I did this and then again when I bent over to pick up my bag. You should always try things at least once but I wouldn’t recommend wasting time with a toilet seat cover.

Over the weekend I did come to realise that I love the way the English language has so many words or phrases for the same thing. I wonder how many ways you can say that you are going for a poo. I like the one I first heard from Bert – ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’. Post your favourite to the comments.

6 Comments:

At Fri Mar 03, 02:24:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What, no one talks about poo any more? "I just had a brown baby boy."

 
At Fri Mar 03, 02:27:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just 'curled one out' too. Most satisfying.

 
At Fri Mar 03, 02:32:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pinched a loaf?

 
At Mon Mar 06, 10:04:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

poo, dump, crap, shit, turd, drop my load, squeeze one out, deficate, morning constitutional, number two

 
At Tue Mar 14, 10:34:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alright there Philippo,

Sorry I've not been in touch recently- been busy laying cable.

Anyway, in my passage through the States recently, I was also intrigued by the seat covers. I never figured out which way around they went, so I've just gone back to wiping the seat with plenty of paper before hand. Just to be on the safe side, like.

Bert

 
At Fri Apr 14, 05:10:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now in Japan they are really civilised and they have toilets that not only flush automatically but wash your bum and dry it first too. Not only that there are different setting s for male and female so the appropriate parts get washed.
Dad

 

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