Small Differences

On our last trip to the panhandle I noticed this paper lying on table. It's one of those glossy papers they slip in with the newspaper which advertises the deals on at the local supermarket. Nothing unusual there you might think. But what caught my eye was the strange looking thing on the left so I opened up the paper and this is what I saw...

Yes, that's right, in the prime advertising space of the centre, normally reserved for that bargain gallon of milk, deliciously cheap strawberries, juicyly affordable steak, naughtily inexpensive ice cream or cake, there was instead... A giant tongue!!!

It's small things like this which remind me every now and then that life is a little different here, and even more so in the Texas Panhandle.

What is the World coming to?

I don't want this blog to become a bogblog but I have to tell you about my latest airport toilet experience. Whilst on the way back from South Carolina, where we played in the USA rugby division II national finals, we had a lay over in Chicago O'Hare airport. Whilst there I found a rather amusing, and in my opinion badly designed, useless contraption attached to the toilet seat of the bathroom I used. It was called a Sani-Seat and is a continuous plastic sleeve that surrounds the seat itself. When you waved your hand in front of a sensor the entire sleeve was pulled from one end until the seat was covered in fresh unused plastic. It was quite amazing. As I have previously mentioned I find toilet seat covers a bit silly but I think this one really takes the biscuit (I expect that is an English phrase). To contain all that plastic, a rather large box is placed on the back of the toilet seat which meant, at least in my case, that there was not enough room to sit down and still get your bits to point in a convenient direction for using them as they are meant. Actually, to use my tackle it had to touch the inside of the bowl. This made for a rather uncomfortable and unhygenic experience (the opposite intention of the invention I suspect). I suppose women wouldn't have that problem. I really think it is just silly silly silly.

I don't think that you can get a real idea of what I mean from what I have said here so I recommend going to this website. You should also try the short demonstration of the sani seat in action here and if you have time the other videos are quite amusing, especially the news clips.

hmmmm...

Inactivity makes me lethargic

Lethargy makes me inactive

There are many things which can get you out of this cycle, for example food, drink, music, exercise, sexual climax, work, sleep.

There are also many things which can get you into this cycle, for example food, drink, music, exercise, sexual climax, work, sleep.

hmmm, tricksy.

Return of the funny pooer

After my previous comments on the subject, I thought I’d give you a little update. Recently, I have found the toilet seat covered with a little blanket of paper on a number of occasions. Not only that but whoever is doing this is now double layering with paper! I don’t know if this means that a different person is doing it or my poo schedule has just become more closely aligned with whoever has been doing it all along.

I found an interesting/funny letter on the subject of disease transmission via toilet seats. Bare in mind that the person who is doing this is working in a molecular biology building and is a man. To me that should mean that they should know better, or at least not give a damn! I would think that there are many more ‘nasty bugs’ on our keyboards, mouses, lab tools etc. Maybe I could search for the culprit by looking for who wears rubber gloves to type emails.

It wouldn’t bother me so much but the flushing system is pretty inefficient so it means that I have to flush more than once. Also it is rather hypocritical of the person who has used it to leave it behind. They presumably use this anal methodology because they don’t want their clean little bottie touching the toilet seat, but by leaving the evidence behind they are making the next person touch their bum cooties when removing the paper! What if the next patron was as compulsive about this? They’d probably have a fit. Perhaps I am going over the top now. It’s Friday, I should go for a beer.

Thirty wasn’t so bad after all

I haven't 'blogged' for a while, but I bet you weren't expecting me to be 33 when I came back!

The last few weeks have been pretty interesting. We had golf ball size hail stones. I saw my first rattle snake (actually my first land snake of any kind) - Rebecca's Dad shot it in the head, six times. I started applying for jobs which is stressing me out. The rugby club won Texas division II and went on to become runners up in the Western Union and we now go on to the 'sweet sixteen's' in Columbia, South Carolina next weekend.
Rugby brings me back to the premature aging that I have been experiencing... whilst at the Saltgrass last Friday, after beating the St Louis Ramblers, our captain decided to tell the waitress it was my birthday (My real one is actually in December) and I got a free cheesecake with a candle in it. That evening whilst out for dinner with the rest of the rugby club they all sang happy birthday to me and got the wait staff to come in and sing a song to me whilst clapping furiously (it's an American thing).

Happy Birthday was again sang to me at breakfast the next day and then again at C Hunts bar on Tuesday night after training and again in the dark at Nasty's during another enormous storm this Thursday night. Hence I am now approximately 33 years old. All very silly but it does kind of make up for sitting alone on my real birthday with a beer and a movie and then going to bed early!